If you haven't already read the Intro to this 2 part blog series, here it is: Intro
For the next part in this blog series, see, The Law of Attraction Got it WRONG, here.
It was a normal Saturday morning.
I had woken up leisurely, had my coffee, taken my morning meds/herbs, logged into Facebook & started chatting with friends. I answered notifications about various things. The usual.
Then, there it was - a message on my business page. I was expecting the usual, someone inquiring about the Tarot readings I do, you know business related? But no. It wasn't. It was someone from a Facebook Group, that I had introduced myself in the day before (via my personal profile), contacting me in an effort to 'help' me. The FB group was a health & healing group, slanted towards natural healing methods such as juicing, and eating organic vegetables. While I believe in these things, I don't buy into the 'MINDSET' work, that has become such a popular way of illness shaming these days. I'm sick of it actually, and so are a lot of people.
I specifically wrote on my intro post the day before, NOT to condescend to me about mindset, yet there it was, this stinky message about a lady's miraculous story of curing herself with her mind. Which is fine, except mindset is NOT my issue? I'm pretty well versed in the mindset concept; I can confidently say: that is not it. Yet, I, and others like me are constantly bombarded by mindset 'cures' from new age health practitioners. While I honestly really enjoy natural health, I really DON'T enjoy this new mindset thing people are going on about, nor it's precursor, The Law of Attraction.
Wha?! You mean everyone in the New Age community doesn't agree with Mindset work & the Law of Attraction?
Yea. You heard me right. And knowing this commonly silenced viewpoint, will catapult your business, or even your friendships to the next level. People often don't talk about this viewpoint, because there is a stigma attached to having a physical ailment in the New Age community. However, I am.
I feel it's important for professionals to understand the viewpoint of the clients they help and for regular people in the New age healing community, to understand that having an illness doesn't mean your mind is flawed. Key to both of those things happening is a proper understanding of Mindset.
Being informed about how the concepts of Mindset & the Law of Attraction affect someone with a physical ailment, can save you from losing business and losing friends.
If you are a health coach, a reiki practitioner, massage therapist, naturopath, yoga instructor, or any other type of heart centered or metaphysical business, knowing how these two concepts can drastically affect someone with even a minor illness, is going to be important for you. Keep in mind, that many illnesses & disabilities are completely invisible. You don't necessarily know who has a physical condition that you may be offending. Saying the wrong thing, can make you look like you don't know what you are doing, and it can even make your clients feel really bad about themselves. I'm sure you didn't get into your business to make people feel bad, so let me clue you in to my perspective, as someone who is a member of the new age spirituality community and also has a physical ailment.
This blog post is inspired by that unruly health coach's inappropriate private message, and I hope that I can also help people with a physical ailment realize that it's not necessarily something that they caused.
I had a health 'coach,' presumably trying to sell me her services, by insulting my Mindset via PM.
Pretty presumptuous, to think she knows my mindset, for never having met me?
I also thought this might be an good introduction to my next blog post, named: The Law of Attraction Got it WRONG. This blog will discuss why the Law of Attraction shouldn't be used as a quip to explain illness. Reading this article along with this current one on Mindset will save you much pain & regret in dealing with those with chronic or invisible illness.
Knowing the information on how Mindset & The Law of Attraction affects people with physical ailments is going to make you look like a true professional in your business, and your clients WILL thank you for knowing this information!!
If you are tired of hearing that your Mind has caused an illness, share this article to educate others!!
Sign up for my mailing list below so you are notified when I publish my next article, on The Law of Attraction, Illness & Soul Contracts. Trust me, this comprehensive, in-depth information is going to blow your mind, when you understand how commonplace sayings are making you lose business and even lose friends! Let me help you!
And, without further ado, how the concept of 'Mindset cures illness' could be causing you to unknowingly hurt others, or even losing you business.
"Being sick isn't a character flaw, it's just something that happens sometimes in life."
Me - on my last post in the [xxxxxxxx] group on Facebook.
I posted my introduction, yesterday, introducing me to the group, and going over my complex health history. The health history that started at BIRTH, and that I was able to overcome, simply by the POWER OF MY MIND, for the last 33 years. Literally.
The last 3 years, however, have been a disaster. I have hit that tipping point, where the POWER OF MY MIND, simply isn't cutting it anymore. I grew up with great difficulty in my life, not just from my health, but from my family of origin as well. I had to overcome much abuse & even illegal activities on the part of family members. I haven't associated with my family members because of this. Yet I overcame this abuse daily with the POWER OF MY MIND.
People often wonder how it is I'm so positive all the time. Well, it's because I learned at a young age, that you cannot let your exterior circumstances determine your outlook in life or how you feel about yourself. No matter how many NAMES I was being called, at like 9 years old by my ‘family’, I OVERCAME them and I made a CHOICE to be POSITIVE. No matter what the heck was going on.
When faced with my physical illness, I simply pulled up my bootstraps, and kept moving. I didn’t dwell on my illness, I just kept going, and focused my MIND on what was going RIGHT in my life.
I’d say that’s some pretty good MINDSET work. I lived a normal life without serious impairment, thanks to my MINDSET, for most of my life.
So you see, mindset DOES WORK.
But - and here's the big thing - illness is simply NOT that simple.
YES, the mind is a powerful thing, YES you can overcome a LOT in life by proper mindset. HOWEVER - YOU CANNOT OVERCOME EVERYTHING BY MINDSET!!!!! Sometimes, there is a higher purpose to our suffering. Sometimes things are fated. Other times, they are NOT at all. It's VERY INDIVIDUAL.
You cannot apply a 'one size fits all' mindset 'cure' to every illness with every person, especially, and I mean this is a RULE, literally - do NOT apply mindset to 'curing' a physical ailment, if you have talked to the client or friend less than 1-2 HOURS of solid one on one talking about their health and life.
You simply cannot come to the conclusion that a person needs mindset work if you do not KNOW them...
In my intro in the Facebook group the other day, I hesitated on the part at the end, the part where I said, ‘you can make suggestions, but please do not condescend to me, tell me to be more mindful, and tell me I need to be more positive.’
I hesitated writing that on my intro post because I felt was negative, it felt like it would invite criticism or be a self fulfilling prophecy. But, caught in your typical damned if you do, damned if you don't quandry, I posted the disclaimer anyway. I *really* didn't want people condescending to me about my 'mindset' causing my illness, yet again.
I've come to learn that speaking openly about illness is seen as an invitation for others to lecture me, belittle me, or shame me. Yes, I've even had people try and sell me things after shaming me for my illness. It's a strange predicament.
Yet, today, I logged into my business page, and what do you know, someone from the group had sent me a video on the ‘power of the mind’ to heal you. Turns out, I was exactly right in my intuition to post that disclaimer.
Here is what I originally wrote at the end of my introduction post in the group yesterday:
""So that's me, lovely Kylie, with all of her mystery health problems for the last 3 years. If you have any thoughts on what I should try, I'm open to that. However, please don't be condescending, I have tried almost everything natural health, mindfulness & am extremely well educated. And please, refrain from telling me I need to be more positive, I'm an extremely positive person, ask anyone! Literally, it's true. Being sick isn't a character flaw, it's just something that happens sometimes in life.
Anyway, that's me. It's wonderful to meet everyone here, and I'm sending everyone giant healing hugs & so many prayers!! xx""
I don't like putting comments like this out there, on the internet, or in life. However, I've learned the last 3 years, that it is necessary to state my boundaries, lest I get condescended to, once again, about how I:
'Just need to change my mind about being sick....and I won't be sick.'
A more accurate quip would read:
MINDSET CURES ILLNESS
Here's the post that I posted in that healing group, a group with a LOT of cancer patients in it. Patients that are being probably contacted by people like this health 'coach' that contacted me.
Can you imagine having cancer, and then a 'coach' telling you that it's all your fault, because your MIND caused the illness, and if you just *changed your mind* that you wouldn't have cancer?
That's terrible!!! Yet it is happening to people, by healers & coaches misusing the concept of Mindset. Please understand, that as a healer or a coach, your words can be very damaging. If a person simply had to 'change their mind' about having cancer, they simply would! It's not appropriate to say things like improving your mindset will cure your illness, because it implies that the person wants to be sick.
I think if you are doing xxxxx therapy, you can agree, that it's not YOUR FAULT that you've come down with whatever ailment you have. And if you had some not so stellar habits in the past, that you are working on them. And that it's simply NOT GOOD ENERGY to go around JUDGING PEOPLE for their most intimate (& sometimes life or death) struggles in life. If you have an illness, you are suffering enough.
When we sit in judgement of people, for something that they are clearly trying to fix and doing their best to accomplish, that it's not helping them accomplish their goal any better by us criticizing them. It's akin to calling someone on a diet 'fat.' It simply makes them feel shameful about themselves, which is not good energy, and NOT productive for healing.
Most of all, I think this person, who claims to be a xxxxx "coach", is very sad. That she had to not address my statements, on my post, but went around the back door to my business page. I will be blocking her shortly.
It's NOT cool, to run around criticizing others bc they are sick. NOT COOL, NOT NICE, UNACCEPTABLE, BAAAAD ENERGY.
I have to wonder, if in some warped way, she was trying to sell me her xxxxx 'coaching.' (reeeal effective)
If you are SICK, for ANY reason, it is NOT your fault. Of course, do your best, because God helps those who help themselves people! lol. But DO NOT let ppl like this woman make you feel bad about yourself.
Health is a crap shoot. We try our best, and that's all we can do. Beating ourselves up is simply not very 'healing', and it's all too common in the new age health community.
I hope this can STOP. Please put people like that firmly in their place. It continues to be acceptable for new age health practitioners & 'coaches' to condescend to us about our 'mindset' (when they've literally NEVER MET US & know NOTHING ABOUT US), because we continue to allow it.
It is often disguised in so called ‘polite conversation,’ and ‘trying to help,’ however, it is clearly not very polite to insult someone’s mind.
I for one, am not letting that negativity into my life, I had to draw the line. I hope you will do the same.
In big, big love, Kai xx
Read the INTRO to this blog series here: INTRO