But you can still get on the waiting list,

and be notified when A YEAR OF SHADOW is open for enrollment


My life was a dumpster fire

when I got sick.




I started hating myself - because I couldn't heal my illness.  And some, seemingly level-headed people's reactions to me being sick, had left me shocked and horrified.  I found out who my real friends were.  It was HARD.  And I was surrounded by healthy people who frankly had NO clue what having a debilitating illness is like, and worse, no compassion at all. 




I was searching for comfort and a cure, in illness support groups, that would never come.


I was stuck in a world of misery, but I could NOT find my way out.  My friends and families suggestions I'd already tried to no avail, and all the so called common sense answers had run out.  The Drs, contrary to popular belief, had NO idea what to do, nor did they care to find it.  

I was simply STUCK.  Each day was like the day before, and there seemed NO end in sight to my suffering and emotional turmoil.  

While I could see there was no way AROUND my having an illness - I was unable to take the next step forward WITH my illness because I simply didn't know how. 


It's not like someone hands you the book for when your life falls apart - your life just falls apart.  You have to figure out how to pick up the pieces.   


And perhaps, that's why you are here on this page too, is because you have an illness, disability, or condition (IDC) that has drastically effected your life.




If you are in that place, of not knowing WHAT to do, and being so miserable and so frustrated you want to pull your hair out and scream the next time someone tells you you need to 'get outside more and you'll heal' -  


If you are tired of hunting for a cure. 

If you are tired of hating yourself and hating your illness, and rejecting the way your world is going currently,

And if you are really, REALLY tired of being told you need to eat organic fruit -

Then this program, A Year of Shadow, is for YOU,


because I used to BE YOU.  



I wanted nothing more than to change my disease, to find my cure, and then to get better.  I knew, that as soon as I rounded the corner of whatever detour this was in my life, that after that, then I'd be ok.  


But the corner never came, and my life wasn't ok. 

In fact, my life was a complete, flaming hot disaster. 


Despite all the vegetarian food and sound healing,

with every day that passed,

the dumpster fire that was my life, just got bigger. 


And what's worse?


I had become bedridden.  




Not knowing what else to do, I took to my journal, like any good, Unity-loving hippie.  And, by being radically honest with myself, looking at what I didn't want to look at, and doing massive amounts of Inner Work -


I was able to overcome my illness in a way I never thought possible or would've even thought to consider - 






In fact, I learned to love my illness so much, that I now teach others how to be Illness Positive™️  too. 


How did I manage this you ask?  

Well.  While I was stuck FLAT for the last 4 years with my illness, I was able to develop a process of Shadow Work, called, A Year of Shadow, that cleared my limiting beliefs about what it MEANS, to have an illness. 

And that's when things got really good.  I found new friends, happiness, and new pass-times.  My hopes and dreams returned, and I was finally much more pleasant to be around again.  




I didn't learn this new attitude from some GURU, who'd never been sick a day in HIS life.


I didn't get this peace from some snarky 'spiritual' woman, wrinkling her nose at my wretched, so-called, 'choice' to be sick.


And I certainly didn't get there by reciting Louise Hay affirmations in the mirror while trying to quell the supposed 'hatred' within me that had supposedly caused my 'DIS-EASE.' 

The best thing - is that I didn't have to wait until the magical day when I was cured.



I could simply start ENJOYING MY LIFE, let other people's comments slide right off my back, and be actually, genuinely HAPPY AGAIN.


The funny thing was though -



I was still stuck in bed, 22 hours of every day. 

I still had the same incurable illness. 

And I'd even gained a few pounds too.




Yet, there was this happiness and equinimity. 

None of those things mattered anymore,

because I'd found an unshakeable happiness that isn't dependent upon exterior circumstances,

or, spiritually bypassing my true feelings. 


Instead of going straight to 'love and light,' aka denial,

I went into the layers of my deepest devastation, loss, anger, and heartbreak. 


By unpacking all of this 'stuff' using my A Year of Shadow method, I was able to rewrite my entire life from FLAT IN MY BED.  In fact, I wrote a whole book from my bed, and can be seen smiling all over the internet and livestreaming from flat on my couch.




And this is what I want to share with you, is the un-fuck-with-able happiness that springs from within and lights up your eyes all the way to corners.  

I did it - and I want to show you how to do it, too.  



Even if you feel lost, hopeless, and scared that there will never be cure,


you can start the healing process with A Year of Shadow. 


A Year of Shadow, is the Shadow Work process that I've honed over the last 1,582 days straight, of being confined to my room, confined to my bed, and only speaking to the outside world via the internet. 


A Year of Shadow is how I came TO LOVE MY LIFE - EVEN THOUGH I'M BEDRIDDEN.  

This is my signature method and secret to staying POSITIVE with an IDC -


that I'm bringing straight to YOU,

from my #ILLPO-as-hell-golden bed, here in Arizona. 



So you can love & reclaim your life too,

even though you're dealing with a serious condition -

with A Year of Shadow.


I can teach you this skill, of Shadow Working your illness, disability or condition,

until other people don't know what hit them because you are SO unaffected by their comments. 



Because the best revenge is doing well. 


so Let's Shadow Work our Yogini toes off in 'A Year of Shadow,'


until your memories of misery are a distant dream that you will easily forget,


as you drive into the sunset with your flaming cadillac chariot of fire


because you do things YOUR WAY –


and that includes your spirituality. 






So, flame on over here, sister! 

Get yourself a year of shadow before you miss out!   


Doors close may 9th xx




What people have said about working with Kai :


- Jennifer M.: 
Because definitely, [Kai], your spirit and work gave me a push when I was (really) down in the dumps, and I really relate and I empathise with it all. You're real. I interact with a lot of people from Christina's group regularly. So seeing you push yourself and do stuff for your viewers is inspiring. It is helping me close the gap of, "Yes I can!" rather than hiding in the illness illusion. Because that's easy enough, too. Especially when everyone around you wants you to simply give up and be a good little sick girl. So thank you! You are awesome!!”
-  Martha B.:
This class and process is fantastic and helps me accept and even transcend my limitations. I love it!”
-  Joanna R.:
"Kai Elliot, you've helped me to explain to non-ills what illness is like by letting me know it's ok to explain - that's not me being tiresome, it's just a fact of life and if they want to live it around me, they are choosing also to live with that fact.

Also, I'm not in a lot of these spirit circles where I'm faced with shaming but I am in biz circles with the same. There you either get "well u r just not working hard enough to keep up" or " just get over it! I used to be sick and look at me!" ( that's usually the 'think it away' people) or you get " well u r just too sick to do it then". Neither of these is true. Maybe, I'm too sick to keep up but I'm doing things my way, how I can.

You made me see I'm not alone and can even help other people to see the same thing. I can teach them how to have a relationship with their illness and press on their own way at their own speed.

Mainly I get all this from your advocacy and sisterhood.”






What's included when I join A Year of Shadow?


  • One possibly triggering prompt per month, to focus your Shadow Work.

  • A live 1 hour class lesson with Kai on the prompt, over zoom. Includes a live Q&A

  • Private Mentoring with Kai, via PM messenger office hours.

  • Kai's Signature Teachings about Illness Positivity™️  #ILLPO, not taught anywhere else, or by anyone else 

  • Group Facilitated Weekly Sacred Venting practice with Kai

  • Downloads of:  High quality photography PDF journaling pages, PDF instructions for each prompt, and high resolution desktop images with prompt as a lockscreen JPG for your devices

  • Private AYOS Facebook group

  • Optional ongoing support if you choose, for the focuses you started on in the LOVE YOUR ILLNESS CHALLENGE

  • BONUS:  Access to the 3 previous months of teachings, prompts, & downloads, as well as the current 4 months of live teachings. That means you get the live 4 classes for this session, + 3 optional recorded classes from last session, which may not be offered again

How do I know if A Year of Shadow is right for me?

  • You have an illness, disability, or condition that is either visible, or hidden, physical or mental - ask your mental health & medical professional if it is safe for you to do the A Year of Shadow program.

  • You may have tried to do yoga, or you may try to eat healthy, but you don't always succeed bc your condition can get in the way and complicate things.

  • You are drawn to people who somehow manage to be positive despite all the crap going on in their life. You wonder – how the heck do they DO that?

  • You are willing to set aside the time and energy necessary for 4 months, to doing your Shadow work, through active journaling, self reflection, and asking yourself questions that you may not want to, with an open mind.

  • You are committed to feeling less triggered, upset by others, and unhappy about your IDC, so you are willing to take on this level of deep work in order to feel better emotionally about your IDC.

  • You are tired of people telling you that, 'they get sick too,' or 'they get tired too,' and you're tired of explaining your illness to other people who never get it – ever. You're tired of being told that you 'you don't look sick,' that you, 'just need to exercise more' or you, 'just need to eat organic food,' or you 'just need to lose weight,' and 'you'll heal.'  You are definitely tired of being told that you 'attracted' your Illness, disability, or condition (IDC).

  • You like spirituality and know how to take what you like and leave the rest.  You love being inclusive to all races, ethnicities, religions and spiritual practices, gender and sexual orientations

How long does A Year of Shadow last?

A Year of Shadow is designed to go deep and to be done for a whole year. However, sign-ups are done every 4 months, so you can definitely just do one session of 4 months too.

When is A Year of Shadow open for registration?

A Year of Shadow is open for registration ONLY 3 times per year, or, every 4 months.

For this session starting in May, doors are open now for registration, and the doors close on May 9th, at 11:59 PM PST.

Who is A Year of Shadow with?

A picture of Kai Elliot, sitting in the white desert sand, in Ft Mohave Az.  Her hair is brown and blonde and curly, and she's smiling with a tank drum in front of her while sitting indian style in the sand.

Me, Kai Elliot, of, your #IllnessPositive #ILLPO, bedridden 22 hours of everyday, zebra-spoonie writer extraordinaire! And a private group of people who are just like you, who tired of their IDCs effects in their life – but – who are also positive, and ready to show up and do the work and so they can move forward too. All in all, it's going to be a great group of #ILLPO forward spiritual spoonies, who are ready to take life by the reins and support each other in a sacred community of #ILLPO warriors.


In our own closed FB group. And with live classes held on zoom. We won't be using email very much, just FB messenger for office hours & the FB group for announcements & communicating.

What tools do I need to attend?

You need your computer with access to the internet, you need a notebook and pen or computer to journal with, and you need the time to do self reflection and journaling each month. 

How much time do I need to work on A Year of Shadow each month?

About 3-4 hours per month. One hour for the live class, and 2 hours per month for journaling and self reflection, and a few minutes for messenger office hours if you need them.

Will you help me if I get stuck?


On each month's live class I will answer your questions about the prompt itself, and the instructions for best results using the prompt, and you will have the opportunity to clarify the assignment or your understanding of it in the beginning of each month's live class.

You'll have access to my personal private mentoring on Thursday office hours. Office hours are held 2 Thursdays per month from 3-4 PM PST. Sessions are 10 minutes each, and pre-reserved by your signup, first come, first served.

Will you answer every single question, every single member has, in the Facebook group, every hour of the day, every day of the year?  

No.  In order to take care of myself with my own debilitating illness, I will answer questions in the AYOS group, as I am called to or able to, at my own discretion. I am happy to help you, and enjoy helping you, but the best way to receive help is coming to the live class (or leaving your questions in the livestream question thread), and coming to office hours if you have questions. Don't hesitate to ask the group about your questions and see what you come up with when you put your heads together.

What if I can't make to the live class?

The live class will be recorded, so you will have access to the replay.

What are the benefits of doing the work in 'A Year of Shadow?'


You will learn what Illness Positivity is, what the benefits of being Illness Positive are, and decide whether or ILLPO is for you and your life

Learn about what shadow work IS and WHY we do shadow work, and HOW does this helps us cope with our IDC.  Learn how to do Shadow Work effectively.

Journaling – you will get to know yourself better and develop more self love and self acceptance

You will become less triggered and emotional about your IDC, and your energy will then be freed up to simply enjoy your life.

You will see the possibility of long-lasting happiness that is not attached to outcome, circumstance, or your health.

So what are you waiting for sister?!  

Join A YEAR OF SHADOW before this deal flames away  xx




This is DEEP work. Make sure you are emotionally, and physically able to tolerate this level of Inner Work. Check with your therapist and/or your Doctor and get permission to make sure you are ready for this DEEP and often intense work. It can be triggering, so make sure you are going at your own pace, and stopping when and if it becomes too much. You want to challenge yourself, but key is, to also know your limits as well, and to stay safe. If this becomes too much for you, you need to stop immediately, and contact your medical professional, as I am not a Dr or therapist.